His Thoughts
- Sometimes, men are not thinking about you. Live with it.
- No matter what you say, your ex-boyfriend is a loser!
- Those male models with perfect bodies are all gay. Accept it.
- Don't ask him what he's thinking about, unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
- It's not funny that after you rip out his heart, stick it down his throat and then still want to be friends.
- The way to a guys heart is through his stomach.
- If you're cooking a special dinner for a man, be sure to include something from each of the four major male food groups: meat, fried, beer, and red.
- If your man is cooking a special dinner for you, no matter how feeble (ie: Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.
- Never buy a 'new' brand of beer or cigarette because 'it was on sale.'
- Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny. Seriously.
- Don't make him hold your purse in the mall. It does something to his manhood.
- Shopping is not a sport and not fascinating. Ever.
- Dog is good. Cat is bad. Period.
- Do not question a man's innate navigational abilities by suggesting he stop for directions.
- If it itches, it will be scratched. Men do that.
- If he sees you in the morning and at night, why call him at work?
- If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect him to act like soap opera guys.
- Silence does not need to be filled.
- "Fine." is not an acceptable way to end an argument.
- If you truly want honesty, don't ask questions you don't really want the answer to (question such "Am I fat?").
- Ask for what you want. Let him be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
- Your (select appropriate item:) butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look fine. As a matter of fact, it/they look damn good. Stop asking.
- His (select appropriate item:) bald spot/beer gut/impossibly thick glasses/impotency/scabby rash, is cute.
- PMS is not an excuse.
- If you want a satisfying sex life, you will never fake an orgasm. Ever.
- When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only joking (unless the answer is YES!).
- Of course size matters, and boy does he have the grandaddy of them all.
- If you want us to put the seat down when we're done, you should put it up when you're done.
- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
- If he has to sit through "Titanic", you have to sit through "Showgirls".
- No, you can't have the remote control.
Now, the above stuffs are only meant as a joke, even though some of them have proven to be right. For you who want a serious advice about how to maintain your relationship and improve your love-life, you should read The Women Men Adore, a book by relationship coach Bob Grant. If you want to know the review of this book, you can read it here.
This e-book is basically contains information about what men really seek in a woman, how to understand men, common mistakes by women, and how to make a man unable to resist you. So, if you're a woman who want to keep dating/marrying to the same man, you definitely should read The Women Men Adore!
No comments:
Post a Comment