Oct 2, 2009

Homer Simpson Wisdom Words

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that homewinemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Homer no function beer well without.

Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy.

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

[Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]

Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You-are-gay.'

All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.

Fun or Not:


Beverly Hills Locksmith said...

Dang Homer Simpson has been with all of us longer than most of dads in America :P.

Funk said...

it seems to me there is another brain inside a brain in home simpson! so he is giving offers. lol

prismtrainee said...

thanks for the post

Bingo said...

Very funny. I love the pictures. I will send this post to my best friend because he is a huge fan of Homer.

Halloween Guest said...

That's hilarious and actually I liked the fact that sleep takes the most of his brain.

baby name meaning said...

very funny , thank you

DoFollow Blog said...

Lol, very funny. I add this post into my blog.

Generic Cialis said...

Homer has the answers to all life questions. There's one moment actully that is just the best, when hes is attached to the polygraph, the woman says "Am going to ask you simple yes or no questions, do you understand" Homer replies "Yes" and the polygraph explodes!

Inversiones en oro said...

I love simpsoms, for me is the best tv show.

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...