Feb 22, 2010

Jokes about Man and Woman

Aaarrghhhh.... my brain is freezing, I can't think a fresh and fun creative ideas to post here. Only few jokes for this day....


The patient's family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say.

"Things don't look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."

"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives.

"For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000."

Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but the men nodded in understanding, and a few actually smirked. Then the patient's daughter asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?"

"A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women's brains have to be marked down because they are used."

A Matter Of Punctuation...

An English professor wrote the words,

"Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

The Car Accident...

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident, Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left but fortunately we are not hurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be really good friends."

The man thinking their might be a bright side to this, replied, "I agree with you completely."

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely we must drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man shakes his head in agreement, opens it and takes a few very large swigs from the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."

Australian Football Grand Final

A man with tickets to the AFL GRAND FINAL finds his seat and relaxes. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

"No", he says. "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible," says the stranger. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the AFL GRAND FINAL and not use it?"

"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first GRAND FINAL we haven't been to together since we got married in 1947."

The stranger replies, "Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. Couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head, "No. They're all at the funeral."

Fun or Not:


Faith said...

Haha. This is a good bunch of jokes as stress reliever after a long tiring day at work. I like the car accident the best, it still connotes that women are more intelligent than men. LOL.

Bingo said...

Very good jokes, I like the 2nd one and the last one. I will tell them to my friends this evening!

Long evening dresses said...

I have a book of jokes but these jokes are worth enjoying.

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