Mar 14, 2010

Hilarious School Exam Answers

The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England. These are genuine answers from 16 years old, not very bright, but absolutely entertaining.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
My name is Julius "Seizure"

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

Fun or Not:


greenlants@Xbox Live Codes said...

OMG I hope these students were joking and trying to be funny. I hope there really aren't people out there that are that stupid, but unfortunately, I'm sure there are....

Michelle | Large Format Posters said...

OMG the be eight after benign is classic. I bet he was trying to be funny as he did not know the answer. I found the condominium to be particularly funny. I think that one was serious which is sad.

Bingo said...

OMG!!! Ha ha ha! I can image the teachers laughing for hours...

Musikinstrumente said...

Oh, my god !

office movers tampa said...

Ha, this scares me for the well being of our future leaders.

vortex debt group said...

hahaha he showns an extra oridinary talent of his common sense

Long evening dress said...

OMG. They are just awesome.

Zelda said...

I am pretty certain that almost all if not all of these answers were written intentionally by the students (ie. not because they were stupid, but because they were having a laugh). If they were stupid, they wouldn't come up with most of these jokes. :P

lingerie wholesale said...

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wedding dresses said...

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