Aug 30, 2009

Funny and Hilarious Poems





THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST POETRY COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was on the piss.

5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.



6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Love hilarious poems and quotes? Check my previous post about Funny and Inspiring Quotes. Don't forget to check another funny and ridiculous jokes and humors on this blog.


Fun or Not:



11 comments:

Bingo said...

Ha ha ha very funny, my favorite is the number 2. :D

HQ said...

Don't try these poems to your boy/girlfriend :p

humor said...

This is funny stuff... No 8 is my favorite

odds and ends said...

Very funny quotes. Love to read only the first lines :D

Fun Polls said...

Lmao. Thats a funny poem.

baby name meaning said...

Hahaha , No. 6 is the best , thank you

CashCrate: The Best Way To Make Money Online said...

These are really funny. But definatly dont try them on your signinficant other, even as a joke. It doesnt turn out very well.

rock punk said...

hehehe hahahaha

Anonymous said...

wow immuh post this to facebook

Anonymous said...

really cool stuff..........

Short Poems said...

Nice one :)

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